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The 8 Keys Of Being A Successful Property Investor – Part 8 – The Need For Love

September 4, 2014

Posted by Simon Misiewicz on 4th September 2014

Would you like to know the attributes of a successful property investor?

Are there areas of your life that you would like to improve?

The Diagnosis

I see many property investors that are busy trying to make a living for their loved ones. Some of them are having more success and happiness than others.

Why is that?

Some people seem to have all the luck in the world, catch all the breaks whilst others seem to attract bad luck. No matter how hard they, some people try they do not seem to get what they want.

How can this be?

I believe that there are many facets, attributes, features of a property investor that separate the successful from the unsuccessful. In this series of articles I am going to share with you my own personal experiences and observations.

The Treatment

I am going to share with you in this series of articles the following attributes of a successful property investor:

Part 8 – The need for love

Anthony Robbins writes about people needing connection. He suggests that people need to be connected with people. To be loved and to love. To be respected and to respect others. To feel acknowledged and to acknowledge others.

Anthony also relates to a story whereby he challenged someone to love themselves, to respect themselves and to admire themselves. This sounds like vanity in many ways but it is also makes a lot of sense.

Think about it for a moment.

If someone pays you a compliment but you are giving yourself a bad time, what do you do with that compliment? Do you agree with them? You may agree with them by saying “thank you” but then find something negative about yourself.

If you do not love and respect yourself then, (I believe), you will only focus on the negative things that people say about you to cement your own feelings. The good remarks people make about you will be ignored.

If you are feeling down about yourself, does this increase or decrease the following?

  • Inner confidence
  • Relationships with yourself
  • Ability to achieve things
  • Having a great time with friends and family

It is easy to focus on the negatives. If you watch enough television it will simply compound the negative feelings that you have. The news is hardly filled with things to celebrate. We can surround ourselves with negativity without realising it.

I believe that if you have too many negative feelings about yourself then this can lead you to feeling:

  • Insecure
  • Tired
  • Overwhelmed
  • Doubtful
  • Cynical

Jim Rohn and Stephen Covey suggest that it is not the things that happen to us that matter but how we interpret what happens to us, and the meaning we give it.

For instance, you have a bad day and a customer shouts at you. You could leave the workplace feeling dejected or annoyed by the experience. Ultimately you leave each day feeling negative. Time passes and several more instances like this occur. You do nothing about it but allow the negativity to mount up until one day you visit the doctor as you are depressed.

The alternative is to accept that the person is not having a go at you personally, rather that they are having a bad experience. You can work with them to understand them better and display a lot of empathy. You work on a solution that they are happy with. You leave, feeling rather positive about the experience and feel proud of your achievement. This in turn, means you go home feeling fulfilled and the conversation with your spouse when they ask, “how did your day go?” will be a lot more positive. A happier conversation for sure than if you interpreted the experience as a personal dig at you, where you would therefore talk about, “how bad they made you feel?” “why do you always get these customers?” “what do they expect you to do?”.

Which type of conversation do you prefer?

What has this article (so far), got to do with love?

I think it has a lot to do with love. To love is to be loved. Therefore if someone is unhappy because of our actions or what is going on around them, why not invest our love and support in that person? If we can convert negative aspects of someone’s day into positivity then this in turn will make us feel good to.

It is easy to say, “It takes less energy to smile as it does to frown” when you see someone that is not having a good day and unhappy. We may be thinking that they are miserable and need to cheer up. How does that work out? Not positive! They will feel annoyed that you said something to upset them and did not take any time to understand why they may be feeling that way. After all if you found out that their parents had just died, how would you feel then?

The more we can help others, the more we will in turn feel good about ourselves. If we feel good about ourselves then I suggest we will gain more confidence, have happier relationships, feel energised and above all, love ourselves for doing good in the world.

As Stephen Covey suggests, we start with ourselves. Why not find out:

  • What you love about yourself
  • What your spouse loves about you
  • What your kids, nieces and nephews love about you
  • What your colleagues respect and admire about you

Once you have established a healthy list then I would advise that you put these in one or several locations:

  • Your diary
  • On the walls of your office, bedroom, library
  • On the desktop / screen saver of your PC / Laptop / Tablet or phone

At the end of the day identify 2-3 things that you did well and take the time to celebrate these achievements (regardless of how big or small) in your own mind. This in turn will help you to appreciate yourself and love yourself.

Once you have built this, try something else. At first it will seem whacky, look yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you”. Yes to yourself! Anthony Robbins suggested this in his book “Awaken the giant within” and I have to say that my confidence and ability have vastly increased. This in turn means that you need to remove the self-labelling of:

  • I am stupid
  • I am fat
  • I am an idiot
  • I am a loser

Instead of saying, “I am stupid”, stop and think, “I made a mistake that caused this issue”. This encourages you to think of a solution that helps you to be positive rather than causing negative feelings towards yourself.

Finally once you have established a strong rapport and love for yourself then follow the above process for other people in your life. I followed this process for my wife. All the small things that I found annoying at times were insignificant to the many great things that I started to identify. I found this to be a much quicker process than the one I undertook for myself and was a lot more enjoyable.

There is a great game that I heard listening to one of the many Stephen Covey CDs where you and your partner take it in turns to say: “I love you because…” The “because” needs to be specific to help the other person know exactly what you love about them. An example of this is how I feel about Louise and I will say, “I love you because when I hold you, my worries and tensions simply disappear”. This is incredibly powerful when you vocalise it to both of you. Go ahead.

Love is important.

Love is also a reward. Make time to celebrate the loving relationships that you have every step of the way.



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Telephone: 0115 939 4606
Email: simon@optimiseaccountants.co.uk