Posted by Simon Misiewicz on 18th June 2014
Would you like to know the attributes of a successful property investor?
Are there areas of your life that you would like to improve?
I see many property investors that are busy trying to make a living for their loved ones. Some of them are having more success and happiness than others.
Why is that?
Some people seem to have all the luck in the world, catch all the breaks whilst others seem to attract bad luck. No matter how hard they, some people try they do not seem to get what they want.
How can this be?
I believe that there are many facets, attributes, features of a property investor that separate the successful from the unsuccessful. In this series of articles I am going to share with you my own personal experiences and observations.
I am going to share with you in this series of articles the following attributes of a successful property investor:
- Part 1 – Values
- Part 2 – Mind set
- Part 3 – Passion
- Part 4 – Health
- Part 5 – Achievement
- Part 6 – Fun & Reward
- Part 7 – Sense of Security
- Part 8 – The need for love
Part 1 – Values
Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you disagreed to a point where you felt uptight, betrayed, angry?
I have a value that is shared by many other people of “Integrity”. What I say is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but… you get the idea. When I am in a conversation and I know that someone is lying or exaggerating the truth I can feel my body tightening and have to bite my lip not to so say “hey you are not telling the truth”.
At first I did not truly understand why I was feeing that way at all. People will often know how I am feeling by the way I look, what I say and how I say it. My wife Louise suggests that I do not play poker and I guess she is right as I would lose all my money. It was not until I met Jo Simpson where I started the education process of learning about values and how they played a part n my life and influenced my decision making process. She encouraged me to thing about what:
- What values I stood for
- What principles I lived by
- What angered / frustrated me about others
Once I started to write down my values, I, for the first time, understood what principles I had. It was an incredible feeling and yet I equally felt frustrated because I was 39 and felt that I did not know myself at all.
My values are personal to me but if you met me it would not be too difficult to work out what they are. What are yours?
Have you ever felt that your very own decisions left you feel conflicted? Do you feel uncertain that what you are doing is right?
Let me explain.
One of my values (oops I am now revealing my values to you) is a sense of achievement. I need to have a goal that I need to work very hard for. I feel that the harder I work the more rewarding it will be once my goal is achieved.
My second goal (oopps again revealing more) is caring for other people. I love to help other people to achieve more than they ever felt possible. I am passionate about seeing other people feel great about what they have achieved and feel positive about their own efforts.
The conflict arises when I am helping people but they are not achieving the results within a time frame that I would set for myself. I will therefore feel conflicted. I believe in the saying “feed a man a fish and you will feed him for day, teach a man how to fish and you feed him for life”. That said if they are not achieving their goal within a time frame that I have set, I revert to “type” and take over. I then feel great that they (with me forcing them) have achieved their goal. This can negatively effect my relationship with them as they resent me from taking over and feel bad that I was not supportive but ended up being controlling.
Once I listed my values I realised that the sense of achievement meant more to me than helping others. If I am honest, that made me feel terrible as I know that having a good relationship with people was vital to true happiness and success. So, I switched to being more supportive than just achieving goals.
Whenever I am now in a position of helping people I focus on the relationship and supporting people more than ever before. This is hard for me but I remind myself of my prioritised values and bite my lip and be more supportive rather than taking over. This is still very difficult for me and I will from time to tome revert to type and “take over”.
The fact that I am now aware of this I can choose my approach. I can take the time to consider my options. Easy? No, but vital.
Are my values right? Are they the only values that matter for all human kind?
The basic answer is yes and no. Actually no, my values are my own and I respect that other people have their own values.
Let me give you a classic example. My mum is fantastic as she is so caring of other people and loves her home, spending time traveling the world and enjoying life.
For many years I always felt that “she should have achieved more” because of my own personal value “sense of achievement”. I would therefore not understand why she would “waste her time travelling the world”. I simply did not get it.
It was therefore important for me, as Stephen Covey said “seek first to understand and then be understood”. I started to observe her life more and what it gave to her. I asked more questions to see why she made the decisions she did.
Was I wrong in my values? Was her values the right ones? I would say that these questions are irrelevant. What matters most is that I realise that our values are different. Once I got that, then our relationship blossomed as I was no longer frustrated with her but thought to myself, as Jim Rohn would say “Isn’t that interesting”. As long as she is happy on her life and remains aligned to her values of family, fun and freedom.
Applying the treatment
So what are the next steps for you?
Why not take the time and answer these questions:
- What do you stand for?
- What principles do you live by?
- What frustrates you about other people?
Once you have a list of things then try and see if you can categorise them as values. Once you have done this, try and list the most important values in the list by comparing each one on the list.
Look at the top five values and ask yourself this question “Would I feel right and at ease if I lived by these values?”
If your answer is yes then you know that you have a list of values that are right for you.
Whenever you are then making a decision, review your values list and ask yourself this question “Is this decision aligned to my list of values?”. If they are then carry out your decision, if not then seek an alternative approach.
Remember that your values are your own. You may be in conflict with other people. Rather than fight them try and remember that they have values and see if you can understand what they are. Once you have gone through this approach you will understand them better. You may even appreciate their views and accommodate them. This is especially the case if you feel that the relationship is more important than the conflict itself.
There may be times that your values mean more to you than the relationship. In this case it is far better to agree to disagree and do your own thing. It is like the immovable object versus the unstoppable object. A lot of time and energy would be wasted in trying to change their other person’s views.
I hope this was useful for you.
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